2013

Well, people are supposed to grow as they age.
Aren't they? :)

I have been stuck in a rathole whereby my personal growth has been nada, nil, zilch for quite some time.
So this area here, definitely needs a positive booster.

I am supposed to decide on where to go soon.
Would Australia be the right choice? Lord knows.
I shouldn't just randomly pick a place to go to, shouldn't I?

My sister's going to start school with me soon.
Now, if I survive this, it will mean that my patience and understanding level has been taken up a hundred notches higher than what it is at now.
Either that, or that I may have gone crazy.

I should pick up my reading habits back again.
Shoo away all the lazy caterpillars and read, read, read!

I need to learn to give people more of my time and spend less of my time to myself thinking about my incompetency.
Throw away most of the awkwardness felt while in crowds.
Hug more trees while watching out for red ants to ease discomforts.

I will learn to love more. Be more considerate.
What I am now, is not enough for the world. Yet.
I will report more incidents regarding animals that fall into drains, even though they might have gone missing by the time help arrives.

I have to prepare a thorough guide for my cute little mother who depends on me and a few others on how to operate the microwave, use the Astro TV channels, detailed directions to my aunts house, use the computer (hopefully there will be no more shutting down of the computer from the mains) etc.

I need to be less self absorbed, which I have been at times.
I should complain less, and do more.

To learn. To filter. To absorb. To grow. To give... and give...

Hopefully.

So many things. So little time. And here comes the challenge to effective time management.

I probably will cry a bucket when mui daragui hamichoke leaves with her mother a.k.a my eldest sister and brother. Lord knows when my Belle and her ma will be able to visit Malaysia again. They haven't left, but I'm already missing them. Sigh.
I have to call and pester my sister to work harder so that Belle can get to see us every year. *0* hoho.

2012

Quick review of things done in 2012
within five minutes.

Popo passed away.
Got my a-levels results.
Tried out for various scholarships and was humbled by the experience.
Started a twinning programme doing commerce.
Made new friends.
Am still awkward talking to a group of people.
Grateful to have a room mate who feeds me hot chocolate+ marshmallows. reminder: find out what is theeni pandaram.
Sinammah paathi passed away.
Acquired skills to play with kids.
Belle turned one twenty two days ago.
Learnt to love more. judge less. and listen more.

Thank you for being my friend.

p.s. by sister: learnt how to make hair accessories. :)

Dear Paathi,

Never have I met a person like you.

One who had been through many hardships and yet,

still glowed the brightest, warmest sunniest smile ever.

One who had at one point of time, tried to give up on life,

yet came back stronger than ever to shoulder your responsibilities.

One who had the ability to tap into the systems of various generations,

conversing about politics, countries and also the latest Tamil movie stars.

One who had lived this short journey with conviction,

making sure every moment was spent meaningfully embracing others.

One who had always kept yourself far away from contemptuous gossips,

assessing situations with fairness and just accordingly.

I love you.

Your courage, resilience, wisdom.

Your compassion, kindness and sympathy.

Your composure, dignity and warmth.

Have a safe journey,

friend, pillar of strength, paragon of virtues.

I pray that you have a fun and interesting time in your future travels. :")

ps: I should have gotten the herbal tea recipe from you earlier on. T^T

     I'm still not used to using past tense, paathi. had to change all the has into had. 

Yiruma

Lord... Hold My Hand

A series of Choices.

I feel old.
Whenever people unload themselves,
throwing away baggages of headaches,
the momentum of the moving troubles,
never seem to fail to bludgeon my weary silhouette.
And...
The bruising spot in my shadow deepens
with undying commitment to strike myself
with numbness
and a weight so heavy,
I say: "I feel old today. Ignore me."


Life is naught but,
a series of choices that lead to unexpected outcomes.
It will be your choice, that decides your future.
It is you, who gives the final ultimatum to yourself.
Whether to follow your desires,
Whether to follow worldly impositions,
Whether to strive to be an in-between of opposite ends,
Whether to accept the fact that
no matter what comes your way,
You can only decide
based on a certain percentage of certainty.
Whatever happens after the decision,
Whether it is good or bad,
Boils down to your spirit and interpretation of life.

So feel free to make impromptu decisions that feel right more often.
If possible.
Most importantly, be happy.
=)

My diversified family? X3

Family photo of 2011

Sorry for not noticing the hanger. >.<"

I wonder what kind of homo sapiens

the other two will find.

Guffaw guffaw. mwahaha.

The tablet.

I've been drawing on the tablet

my brother got for my pa.

non- stop. ><"

Its addictive.

especially when my drawings look nicer now.

mwahahahaha.

*v* i feel invincible.

here are a few that i like better:

a sunset picture.

bicycle, tree and human present.

and by chance...

they meet.

on a leaf. -0-

snails on lalang. C:

it's supposed to be a red-indian lady.

it can also be a lady with a headscarf.

its open to interpretations. ^V^

*0* my peach blossoms.

the bubbles of light look like...

glittery souls floating gently down.