Dear all,
Please do not be alarmed at my disappearance on Facebook.
The unseen pressure of notifications and alerts
that were popping up like mushrooms
growing on a well decayed, moist tree bark
pushed me far away from the social networking site.
As you all are well aware of,
my lazy nature is in full swing right now.
However, I will force myself to go on the website
in about ten days time.
Kindly contact me via other channels
if you urgently need to seek me out.
Sincerely,
Me.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Amnesia, in real life as in movies.
The normal questions that one asks oneself would be:
What if I died the next day?
What would I regret to not have done in my lifetime?
Okay, these questions are kind of morbid when you think of them
but they help motivate people to live life to the fullest.
Just like how Britney and Sam got married
in one of the Glee episodes because they thought that
the world was coming to an end since the Mayan calendar said so
and that everyone was going to die.
Just joking.
One should still suppress the crazy urge to attempt everything
and stop at nothing at all because
keeping all your eggs in one basket
is a risky and irrational thing to do.
Except during exceptional times.
The not-so-normal question that I have encountered recently is:
What if I woke up to find myself in a far away country to
be informed that I have lost part of my memory,
with the damage incurred by certain parts of my brain
still left un-diagnosed,
and that my life has been fast forwarded by three years?
Let's say that I got stranded in a hospital in Heatstrokeland
and all that I remember is that
I am supposed to be doing my A-levels
in Foodieland with a bunch of crazy classmates,
How would I react to my bizarre situation?
What if:
(1) All of the visitors who drop by my hospital room
say that they are my friends but seem like strangers to me.
(2) I miss home but the doctors say that
I need to be hospitalized for further medical investigations.
(3) I need my family because I recognize no one else
but they just are not able to come to my immediate rescue
because there are no flights available.
(4) People tell me that I have a boyfriend and that
I am being sponsored for my studies
but I cannot recall a single thing
because my dead neurons refuse to come back to life.
And the list of worries goes on and on.
I have come to a conclusion that despite my confusion and fear,
and my large Bambi eyes
that may constantly glitter with tears of frustration
hidden by my overtly large spectacles besides me
showing symptoms of continuous edginess due to unsettled nerves,
if I ever happen to have amnesia in my lifetime; I would:
(1) Go with the flow and attempt to take things one at a time.
(2) Understand bits of my life that sound alien to me.
(3) Know that this might be God's way of
giving me a second chance in life.
(What if the future me sacrificed relationships
because I turned into a self-indulgent, selfish workaholic
with only a materialistic notion of success planted in my brain?)
(4) And cry very loudly to prevent myself from going crazy
at the very thought of piecing my life back together,
with or without help from others;
because familiar faces would have moved on with their lives
and strange people are the only ones who are left close by.
Note of caution to self:
Do not ever try to knock yourself real hard on your head
with a baseball bat to remove a blood clot that is preventing
the resurfacing of lost memories as shown in TV series.
A living person might turn into a veggie or die off pretty easily.
What if I died the next day?
What would I regret to not have done in my lifetime?
Okay, these questions are kind of morbid when you think of them
but they help motivate people to live life to the fullest.
Just like how Britney and Sam got married
in one of the Glee episodes because they thought that
the world was coming to an end since the Mayan calendar said so
and that everyone was going to die.
Just joking.
One should still suppress the crazy urge to attempt everything
and stop at nothing at all because
keeping all your eggs in one basket
is a risky and irrational thing to do.
Except during exceptional times.
The not-so-normal question that I have encountered recently is:
What if I woke up to find myself in a far away country to
be informed that I have lost part of my memory,
with the damage incurred by certain parts of my brain
still left un-diagnosed,
and that my life has been fast forwarded by three years?
Let's say that I got stranded in a hospital in Heatstrokeland
and all that I remember is that
I am supposed to be doing my A-levels
in Foodieland with a bunch of crazy classmates,
How would I react to my bizarre situation?
What if:
(1) All of the visitors who drop by my hospital room
say that they are my friends but seem like strangers to me.
(2) I miss home but the doctors say that
I need to be hospitalized for further medical investigations.
(3) I need my family because I recognize no one else
but they just are not able to come to my immediate rescue
because there are no flights available.
(4) People tell me that I have a boyfriend and that
I am being sponsored for my studies
but I cannot recall a single thing
because my dead neurons refuse to come back to life.
And the list of worries goes on and on.
I have come to a conclusion that despite my confusion and fear,
and my large Bambi eyes
that may constantly glitter with tears of frustration
hidden by my overtly large spectacles besides me
showing symptoms of continuous edginess due to unsettled nerves,
if I ever happen to have amnesia in my lifetime; I would:
(1) Go with the flow and attempt to take things one at a time.
(2) Understand bits of my life that sound alien to me.
(3) Know that this might be God's way of
giving me a second chance in life.
(What if the future me sacrificed relationships
because I turned into a self-indulgent, selfish workaholic
with only a materialistic notion of success planted in my brain?)
(4) And cry very loudly to prevent myself from going crazy
at the very thought of piecing my life back together,
with or without help from others;
because familiar faces would have moved on with their lives
and strange people are the only ones who are left close by.
Note of caution to self:
Do not ever try to knock yourself real hard on your head
with a baseball bat to remove a blood clot that is preventing
the resurfacing of lost memories as shown in TV series.
A living person might turn into a veggie or die off pretty easily.
Monday, January 13, 2014
The Down Under Camp ( a scribble of the final day)
I laughed at a boy when he said that his name is Buddha
because I thought that he was joking. His friends vouched that his name was
Buddha and penetrated me with stares that made me shrink in guilt and shame.
Who am I to actually be bewildered and show my amusement of a person’s name
directly in front of him/ her? I paused my brain activity for a moment and
rekindled a certain fibre of my neurons that went: Accept everything as it is.
When the next boy came in telling me that his name is Ozil, I believed him and
immediately wrote his name on the ziplock bag that was being used to store the
tie-dyed shirts. Even though his friends eventually told me that his name is
Muhammad. After all, I should be able to abide to a person’s frugal wish by
addressing him with whatever name that he prefers.
Fikri from johor who is currently studying in Queensland for commerce is a professional at tie-dye. He showed me lots of ways to create different patterns on fabrics, even the butterfly one. I am going to get a cheap, long singlet to experiment soon.
I still have a certain barrier towards unusual people. I met a Japanese person who was slightly weird so I decided to keep a slight distance away from him. I have not so long ago decided to follow my animal instincts when needed because it proves to be right, most of the times.
Evelyn from Victoria is an amazing person who is in an environmental club, Disney club, Malaysian club and another, I forgot. She knows about anastacia and the discovery of what actually happened to her whole family. Another childish soul who gets excited at the thought of lava lamps and artsy stuff.
JoWen (JingWen) Khoo and Sandy Lau are both from ACT. Amanda is studying in USyd and thinks that she should use me as her role model. I told her that that is a bad idea since I’m such a lazy person. It feels slightly weird for her to think of me as an independent sort of person.
I am feeling content and cheerful even though I met up with so many people. My veins are strained and my feet are numb. However, I feel at peace with myself. What happened to all my loner qualities? This is terrifying.
Sarah gave me her sand art after I said that I was sad that I could not do it this time. I told her that it has been a long long time since I last did it. She immediately presented me hers for me to keep as a remembrance of her. I for one, was really proud of my present and started showing it off immediately. She gave me her mobile phone number and granted me her permission to call her. Reminder: Text sarah and tell her to do her homework, even though she hates English.
I asked one of the girls about the ring on her finger and she told me that it was passed down from her late mum. I wondered then if I should continue talking and asking them random questions like this that would cause awkward situations to occur. I decided to chat like normal. It is after all, too difficult to avoid sensitive topics.
Fikri from johor who is currently studying in Queensland for commerce is a professional at tie-dye. He showed me lots of ways to create different patterns on fabrics, even the butterfly one. I am going to get a cheap, long singlet to experiment soon.
I still have a certain barrier towards unusual people. I met a Japanese person who was slightly weird so I decided to keep a slight distance away from him. I have not so long ago decided to follow my animal instincts when needed because it proves to be right, most of the times.
Evelyn from Victoria is an amazing person who is in an environmental club, Disney club, Malaysian club and another, I forgot. She knows about anastacia and the discovery of what actually happened to her whole family. Another childish soul who gets excited at the thought of lava lamps and artsy stuff.
JoWen (JingWen) Khoo and Sandy Lau are both from ACT. Amanda is studying in USyd and thinks that she should use me as her role model. I told her that that is a bad idea since I’m such a lazy person. It feels slightly weird for her to think of me as an independent sort of person.
I am feeling content and cheerful even though I met up with so many people. My veins are strained and my feet are numb. However, I feel at peace with myself. What happened to all my loner qualities? This is terrifying.
Sarah gave me her sand art after I said that I was sad that I could not do it this time. I told her that it has been a long long time since I last did it. She immediately presented me hers for me to keep as a remembrance of her. I for one, was really proud of my present and started showing it off immediately. She gave me her mobile phone number and granted me her permission to call her. Reminder: Text sarah and tell her to do her homework, even though she hates English.
I asked one of the girls about the ring on her finger and she told me that it was passed down from her late mum. I wondered then if I should continue talking and asking them random questions like this that would cause awkward situations to occur. I decided to chat like normal. It is after all, too difficult to avoid sensitive topics.
It was heaps of fun talking to the refugee
ladies non-verbally. I tried understanding them but they were talking in
Persian only so I decided to parrot after them. I repeated: Rangoli? One of the
ladies heard me and started pointing at me while laughing. Then she decided to
get her son over to do some translation for us. Haha.
I still can’t wait to go back home though. :")
I still can’t wait to go back home though. :")
Birthdays
My birthday falls on the 8th of January each year.
Looking back, my birthdays have been pretty amazing.
They could be compared to the blue skies that hold
a thousand vibrant coloured helium balloons,
some flying lower than the rest.
I decided to postpone my birthday this year.
Since I was busy taking care of my paathi
who was admitted to the hospital
and going for camps whilst interning at an office
slightly further away from home.
My rationale was that:
Any day can be my birthday.
I'll just pick one that suits me best and
celebrate it as many times in a year as I want.
It is my birthday after all.
I also decided to splurge on cakes for one whole week.
However, my lethargic and flabby body told me to spread out
my treat of seven cakes over a period of one month
instead of eating them consecutively for seven days.
Chocolate brownies and a few slices of black forest
are resting in my tummy as I write.
So far so good, cake triumphing promise.
Paathi told atthey to call me up for my birthday this year.
They attempted to call me up three times.
I called atthey back at 10.15 pm to find out that
paathi was still not asleep yet.
Just because she wanted to tell me:
"Happy Birthday to you"
in person via the telephone.
Thank you Paathi.
Your wish has been crowned as
the warmest birthday present of the year.
It has been to me:
A day of reflection.
A day of separation.
A day of gratefulness.
A day of thankfulness.
A day of cake-stuffing.
A day of smiling.
A day of presents.
A day of hugs and kisses.
A day of intrusion.
A day of frustration.
A day of wistfulness.
A day of hopefulness.
Looking back, my birthdays have been pretty amazing.
They could be compared to the blue skies that hold
a thousand vibrant coloured helium balloons,
some flying lower than the rest.
I decided to postpone my birthday this year.
Since I was busy taking care of my paathi
who was admitted to the hospital
and going for camps whilst interning at an office
slightly further away from home.
My rationale was that:
Any day can be my birthday.
I'll just pick one that suits me best and
celebrate it as many times in a year as I want.
It is my birthday after all.
I also decided to splurge on cakes for one whole week.
However, my lethargic and flabby body told me to spread out
my treat of seven cakes over a period of one month
instead of eating them consecutively for seven days.
Chocolate brownies and a few slices of black forest
are resting in my tummy as I write.
So far so good, cake triumphing promise.
Paathi told atthey to call me up for my birthday this year.
They attempted to call me up three times.
I called atthey back at 10.15 pm to find out that
paathi was still not asleep yet.
Just because she wanted to tell me:
"Happy Birthday to you"
in person via the telephone.
Thank you Paathi.
Your wish has been crowned as
the warmest birthday present of the year.
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