To be or not to be

To be a doormat or not to be.
To be a jerk or not to be.
To be a pleaser or not to be.
To be a creator or not to be.
To be an artist or not to be.
To be a student or not to be.
To be a child or not to be.

And the list goes on and on.

What exactly does it mean to be a doormat?
If it gives you joy bringing happiness to people
by going an extra mile for them
because you know, that it will somehow make their day
then would that consist of a doormat behaviour?
Or would you only start to be a doormat
when you start expecting reciprocation from people
whose well-beings are no longer your concern?

I had fun at dance practice today.

I miss my person who's in Texas dearly.
Thank you for crying in my stead,
sacrificing time trying to figure out transportation issues,
thinking of me wherever you go,
stocking up my supplies whenever it ran low,
crashing my bed when you could not not sleep any more,
being my running partner and sing-a-long team,
accompanying me to the duck pond.

And the list goes on.

I will continue to be what I want to be.
To be.
And not to be.